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Understanding the Nature of Habits: A Realistic Perspective

Hundreds of other books have been written about this subject, including Atomic Habits, Tiny Habits, The Power of Habits, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Make It Stick, Habits for Success…, and others. 

Habits impact our lives greatly, shaping our destiny, satisfaction, and happiness. 

Identifying and understanding our habits helps us develop positive ones that align with our goals and aspirations. 

This article will explore the difference between habits and routines and how to develop positive habits that align with our goals and who we want to become.

We'll also discuss how what we often think of as habits may, in fact, be routines.


What Is Habit?

  1. A settled tendency or usual manner of behavior. An acquired behavior pattern regularly follows until it has become almost involuntary.
  2. An acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.

In psychology, habits are actions triggered automatically by contextual cues associated with their performance. For example, washing hands after using the toilet or putting on a seat-belt after getting into the car.

We often set goals and make resolutions to develop new habits that can lead to a successful outcome. We plan and work hard to incorporate these habits (into our daily routine). Still, setbacks and distractions can often get in the way. 

It's important to remember that habits are automatic actions triggered by contextual cues, so creating an environment that supports and reinforces these habits is crucial. Keep up the hard work, and don't let minor setbacks discourage you!

(91-percent-of-us-wont-achieve-our-new-years-resolutions)

Developing a habit is a gradual process that involves repeated practice until it becomes automatic. There are two types of habits: intentional and unintentional. 

Some habits are formed without consciously intending to acquire them, while others are deliberately cultivated or eliminated.


Routines vs. Habits: What's the difference?


Most of us assume the two are interchangeable.  

Nir Eyal, author of Indestructible: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, explains that this common misconception tends to end in disappointment. "When we fail at forming new patterns of behavior, we often blame ourselves," he writes, "rather than the bad advice we read from someone who doesn't fully understand what can and cannot be a habit."

Habit is a behavior done with little or no thought.  

Our habits include things such as brushing our teeth, immediately placing our keys on the hook when we enter our homes, washing our hands after going to the bathroom, etc.

Our habits are often formed at a young age through the influence of our parents and caregivers. These habits become automatic responses that do not require much thought and are conditioned to specific circumstances.

Routine involves a series of behaviors frequently and intentionally repeated. 

The key is that behavior must be a regularly performed routine before becoming a habit.

The routine is all about repeating certain behaviors intentionally and frequently. A behavior must be performed regularly and consistently before it will turn into a habit. However, many individuals attempt to bypass the routine phase, assuming that habits will automatically take care of tedious or uninteresting tasks. Nevertheless, routines require a conscious effort and can be uncomfortable in the beginning. For example, getting up early to run every morning or meditating for ten minutes each night are rituals that are not easy to maintain at first. In contrast, habits are so deeply ingrained in our daily lives that not doing them feels strange. Just imagine not brushing your teeth before bed or not having a cup of coffee with breakfast; if these are your established habits, avoiding them can even make you feel bad.

How long does it take to form a habit?

Many people believe that it takes 21 days to create a habit. However, research has shown that the time it takes to form a habit can vary depending on the individual and the targeted behavior. Most habits may take longer to form, while few may take less time. 

Forming a habit requires consistency and dedication. Whether it takes 21 days or longer, the key is to establish it as a routine, stick with it, and make it an integral part of your routine.

Once you have established a comfortable routine practice, you can gradually transform the routine into a habit by continued practice and consistency.

My experiment with myself, over and over throughout my life, proved it repeatedly. (and also observing all my friends, family, colleagues,

 and clients).

Think about it this way. When you've been doing something a thousand times, it becomes so automatic that you barely notice what you're doing anymore. As you have probably experienced yourself

It's the same with any habit, good or bad.

Why is it so hard to form new/get rid of habits?

Habits are formed in our brain's basal ganglia, a part of the brain responsible for motor control and learning. 

According to research, habits are formed through a process called "chunking," where repeated actions are consolidated into automatic routines.

By understanding the psychology of habit formation, we can make intentional changes to our daily lives and improve our overall well-being.

The same goes for "bad" or unwanted habits. Breaking bad habits is challenging. 

Studies have shown that it is possible to rewire our brains and form new habits through consistent repetition and positive reinforcement as they become deeply ingrained in our neural pathways.  

Establishing a habit can be challenging because life often interrupts our daily routines. 

Despite our best efforts, maintaining a daily routine may not always be possible if we do not incorporate it wisely into our habits.


To turn a routine into a habit, take the following steps.


First, you must ask yourself if you are trying to establish a new routine or habit. (is this going to be an uncomfortable practice or a consistent practice of what is already comfortable)

Letting go of high expectations and beating yourself up when life interrupts your new practice.

It's important to understand that forming new habits can be a bit of a roller-coaster ride. There will be ups and downs. Change takes time and effort. 

 Life can be unpredictable, so allow the ebb and flow without judgment. With persistence and a positive mindset, lasting change is possible. Obstacles and setbacks are a natural part of developing routines and moving them into the habit zone.

Practical tips and strategies to use when trying to develop new habits.

The first and most important thing is to start by incorporating and practicing the routine of being kind and patient with yourself in the process. Practice that until it becomes an automated habit!

  1. Start small and gradually increase consistency over time. Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on one routine to a habit path. Work on establishing that before moving on to the next one. Starting with small changes is more manageable. Establishing one routine as a habit provides motivation to continue building on that success.
  2. Monitoring your progress. Remember, there will be obstacles to overcome, but with persistence and a positive mindset, while tracking your progress, you can stay motivated and focused. 

How to identify specific cues and overcome common obstacles that can derail habit formation?

Identifying specific cues and overcoming common obstacles are essential steps in establishing new habits. Here are some tips to help: 

1. Identify your triggers: Understanding what triggers your old habits can help you avoid them and create new ones. For example, if stress triggers overeating, find a healthy way to manage stress instead. 

2. Plan for obstacles: Anticipate obstacles that may derail your progress and plan in advance for how to overcome them. For instance, if you know you'll be busy in the morning, plan to exercise in the evening instead. 

3. Create a supportive environment: Make changes to your environment that support your new habit. For example, keep healthy snacks readily available if you want to eat healthier. 

4. Stay motivated: Stay motivated and focused on your goals by reminding yourself of the benefits of your new habit. Consider rewarding yourself for milestones achieved. Remember, habit formation is a process that requires patience and perseverance. 

By identifying specific cues, planning for obstacles, creating a supportive environment, and staying motivated, you can overcome common obstacles and successfully establish positive habits.

These are not bulletproof tools, and you will sometimes be distracted, challenged, and inconsistent. Learning that it's okay and allowing it to happen is key to your success in creating a new habit.

Are there certain habits that are more difficult to form than others?

Yes, certain habits can be more difficult to form than others. For example, habits requiring significant lifestyle changes or breaking long-standing negative habits may be more challenging. However, by using the method of starting small and being consistent, anyone can make progress toward developing positive habits. Remember, it's important to be patient with yourself and stay committed to achieving your goals.

Here are a few things you can do to help you while trying to create new routines and habits

  • Celebrate your successes along the way. This will reinforce your positive changes and help you build momentum.
  • Studies have shown that habits are more likely to stick when linked to a specific cue, such as a particular time of day or activity. 
  • Try to keep a positive mindset. Approach the process with intention, mindfulness, and compassion. (Remember to incorporate the practice of being kind and patient with yourself throughout the process).
  • Remember that setbacks are opportunities for growth. 
  • Set achievable goals and create a routine around them. Consistency is key to establishing new habits. 
  •  Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them rather than being judgmental or overly critical. 
  • Set specific and achievable goals: Instead of setting vague goals, such as "exercise more," set specific and achievable goals, such as "go for a 30-minute walk three times a week."  

These are not bulletproof tools, and you will sometimes be distracted, challenged, and inconsistent. Learning that it's okay and allowing it to happen is actually a key to your success in creating a new habit.

The reality of life is the reality of our routines and habits, and nothing ever stays the same. Life gets in the way of our routines, and that's okay.

Circumstances change, we change, and things happen. 

I enjoy waking up early in the morning during summer, but during the cold, dark mornings of winter, I only find myself getting out of bed after 7:30. It's a seasonal routine that I accept and flow with.

Allow the ebb and flow of life without judgment. 

Practice awareness of your intention, understanding, and compassion.

Come back to practice again, and again, and again. 

It's important to remember that setbacks are simply opportunities for me to learn and grow. 

Rather than fighting your core natural tendencies and forcing yourself to change who you are, make your routines and habits work with you and for you.

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