What Is The Best Most Meaningful Gift That Will Last A Lifetime?

(It's not what you think they want)

"For it is in giving that we receive"

~Francis Of Assisi

‘Tis the season of giving. 

There is something quite exhilarating about shopping for gifts to give our loved ones. 

The excitement of imagining the glowing smile of the receiver when they open their gift.

The anticipation and curiosity of what gifts we will receive.The thrill of hunting for the perfect gift at a great bargain price...

...And ambivalent in the stress of a budget, the exhaustion of walking in countless shops for days on end.

Shopping has become an intrinsic part of the holidays. 

It’s an integral and important part of and an indication of the state of our economy. 

Research has proved time and time again that giving plays a big part in the state of happiness and well-being.

Does What You Give Matter?

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane…

... Do you remember what presents you got for your eighth birthday,Your 14th birthday, Your 20th?

Don’t try to think too hard. 

You most likely have a vague memory of some of the gifts you’ve gotten for different occasions throughout the years of your life.

Looking back at those gifts that you do remember those special gifts that thrilled your heart you will find that those things, as magnificent and amazing as they were,  elevated you to the pinnacle of happiness only created a fleeting pleasantness that faded within a short time. 

Researchers have pinned down just how long material objects make us happy -- and it's only between six and 12 weeks. 

As much as you may have desired a certain thing, once you had it, you grew bored or accustomed to it, and the pleasure you derived from it faded

And those material things, while they make us happy. In the short run. They do not contribute to our whole happiness of living, to our well being. 

Most gifts do not enhance our entire life experience. After the initial period of joy, we return to our normal level of satisfaction in life. 

Adults, like kids, have a short satisfactory span to the novel gift.  

Once we get used to it and it becomes a for granted mundane part of our everyday life,  we move forward wanting something new to sparkle and stimulate our attention.

When my nieces and nephews were toddlers, almost every time I came to visit I had the urge to bring them a gift.

I loved seeing their little faces light up with joy and excitement while they tore off the wrapping and the surprise expression when they revealed the gift.

They got used to it. And soon enough I was greeted with delight every time I came followed by “Did you bring me a present”?

Not wanting to raise little demanding monster brats, we realized and agreed that it would be better to temper down the frequency of bringing them presents.

That led to a very interesting conversation between us adults.

 We started reminiscing about our childhood, gifts we remembered, what made them special, and how much more ‘simple’ it was back then.

As we were talking about these gifts, I noticed something very interesting started to happen. We spent more time sharing the stories behind and around the gifts.The occasion, the people,  the surroundings, the mood, the food, the happenings of the entire day.It wasn’t so much the presents that we remembered and what made it special - It was the experience.

Like when as a child, my father agreed to give me a birthday gift of taking me to my first ever pop concert, where he probably suffered in, but he did it because he loved me, and he supported that in me, and, and for me, it was a big experience. That's what I remember, I remember that night I remember it so vividly I remember it's so well, it still fills my heart when I think about it.

Materialistic

Based on the online dictionary, this is “a way of thinking that gives much importance to material possessions.” The philosophy explains that having things just for the sake of owning them.

They get satisfaction from the more expensive items because they associate value with the price tag.

having a lot of possessions, which you will get tired of easily. Before long, what you thought was valuable just ends up as junk and clutter in your home.

Experiential

According to the online dictionary definition, this is “a philosophical theory that experience is the source of all knowledge.” If materialism gives importance to the thing being bought, experientialism gives importance to the experience that goes along with it – rather than the product itself. Simply put, you buy things so you can enjoy them and derive a meaningful experience from them.

Let's look at some other research that has been done. 

A study conducted in 2009 at San Francisco State University found that, when compared side by side, experiences made people much happier than objects.                    

The San Francisco study showed that experiences not only give us greater happiness, they also provide lasting happiness.

Many studies compared what gives a higher happiness level – materialism or experientialism.

In one study, authored by Leaf Van Boven for the University of Colorado it is revealed that the latter makes people happier because of three factors.

“Experiences are more open to positive reinterpretations.”

Material things are tangible and something that you can never alter. The more you look at it or use it, the more it becomes ordinary to you. When you are basing your satisfaction on experiences, this is purely a mental recollection. In most cases, what we remember is intensified by the emotions associated with it. So when an experience makes you feel happy, your recollection of that will intensify and thus making the memory all the more satisfactory.

“Experiences are less prone to disadvantageous comparisons.”

Since your eyes are focused on the experience, you will hardly find that the lower price of a product will bring your satisfaction level down when it is compared to a higher-priced item. Your experience, being secure in your mind, is protected from any comparison. In fact, given the first factor that we have discussed, you can assume that our mind is powerful enough to make our experience seem superior to any other comparison.

“Experiences are more likely to foster successful social relationships.”

In most cases, experiences are shared with other people. That is what boosts the happiness level of people when they prefer experientialism. Although material things can be shared, it is the experience that is brought about by that sharing that makes a huge difference. It is what makes the spending style all the more pleasant.

There is more to a gift than the item itself.

What makes a gift stay with both the receiver and the gifter for a lifetime is not the gift itself.

It’s the experience of the time spent together. 

It’s the love and the laughter, the affection, the tradition, the fun, the silly, and sometimes a little teary. It’s in a hug, a wink, and the words that you say. 

It’s in everything you do and says the entire day.   

Enjoy the act of giving presents, and the fun of unwrapping gifts.

Because after all, well…

...It’s part of the experience.

I would like to encourage you to contribute and focus on creating an experience as part of giving a gift during this holiday season.

Make your time together special.  

Make the day special.

Make an experience that will be remembered and cherished for the people you love and yourself for a lifetime. Make it an extraordinary day, a meaningful heartwarming memory that lasts a lifetime, warm the heart, and bring a smile to the faces and a spark in the eyes of those who spent that day with you.

While this season is different and more challenging than ever, we're all stretched to our limits, going through very difficult times and yes, it's hard.

It's the experiences that we remember, much less than the gifts. 

How can you create a wonderful experience and memory that your loved ones and you can take with you and those that you love can take with them as a memory of the story of their lives? 

With that, I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday season, a happy new year, and wonderful experiences. Intentional positive experiences that you can create in your life.

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