It's More Important To Understand Your Emotions Than You Think

In the previous articles in this series about Emotions, I've been talking about Emotions. It's important to note that Emotions, Feelings, and Moods are often used interchangeably, but they aren't the same thing.

What's The Difference between Emotions, Feelings, and Moods?

The short answer is Time. Emotions come first; then feelings come after as the emotion chemicals go to work in our bodies. Then moods develop from a combination of feelings.

Emotions respond to our interpretation (thought pattern) of a specific trigger. (Emotion chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains, and they form a kind of feedback loop between our brains & bodies). 

Feelings happen as we begin to integrate the emotion, to think about it, to “let it soak in.” We use “feel” for both physical and emotional sensations in English. This is a clue to the meaning of “feeling,” it’s something we sense. Feelings are more “cognitively saturated” as the emotion chemicals are processed in our brains & bodies. A mix of emotions and thoughts often fuels feelings.

Moods are more generalized. They’re not tied to a specific incident but a collection of inputs. Several factors heavily influence our mood:

• The environment (weather, lighting, people around us).
• Physiology (what we’ve been eating, how we’ve been exercising, how healthy we are).
• Our mental state (where we focus attention and our current emotions).

Moods can last minutes, hours, and sometimes even days.

The Challenge

Most of us were brought up and taught not to talk about our emotions quickly and openly. 

It's hard for us to acknowledge our emotions and feelings to ourselves. Talking about our emotions makes us feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, ashamed, or weak, or it may be something we simply don't know how to do. 

When we don't know our emotions and how we are feeling, we act out. 

In most cases, acting out is automated with disregard to the possible consequences of our behavior.

Take, for example, driving in your car: It's been a long day, and you're looking forward to getting home, changing into more comfortable clothes, having a nice dinner, and relaxing. It's rush hour, and the traffic is slow; you're slowly crawling into your exit intersection. That's when you see a car pass by and push its way into your lane, taking a spot a few cars ahead of you. 

Instantly, your blood reaches a boiling point, and you can feel your heartbeat in the sides of your head. You reach an intense level of anger within seconds. (we all know this scenario all too well, right?)

Which immediately leads to you screaming (maybe even blurting out a few curses) at the driver (even though he's far ahead of you and can't hear you). 

If I asked you at that point why you're so mad, you'd probably answer one of the two:

- Because what he/she did is freaking dangerous! And it's illegal to change lanes there - Who the hell does he/she think they are?

- Because he/she jumped in line. They know everyone in this long line of cars is waiting to exit from this lane - Who the hell does he/she think they are?

While both statements are accurate, a much deeper reason for your rage will change your entire perception of the situation with a bit of exploration. (more on that later in the article)

The Feelings Of  Emotions

As described above, research has found distinct connections between emotions and bodily sensations above. Feelings are an integration of emotions interpreted to sensations in our body. Your body feels emotions in specific ways and different parts of your body.

– Stress is usually felt in your neck or shoulders.

- Anxiety is commonly felt in the stomach,

- Happiness may be felt in the chest or the feet.

Those are broad and common sensations our bodies experience when we have strong emotions. But the Physiology of your emotions runs much deeper and more detailed in your body. We each have our unique sensations pathway in our emotional physiology.

Think of the last time you had an intense emotion - where did you feel it in your body?

Connect The Physical Effects of  Your Emotion

1. How fast is your heart is beating - Is it fast or slow? 
2. What is the pace of your breathing?
3.  Are your breaths deep or shallow?
   
4. How tense are the muscles in your body? - Your arms, legs, back, neck, shoulders?
5. Is your jaw tight or loose?  - What about your lips?
6. Taste - What does this emotion taste like in your mouth?
7. Does this emotion has an effect on your nose? - What does it smell like?
   

The Effects of Hiding, Ignoring or Suppressing Emotions

The problem with suppressing or avoiding our emotions is that it can, and most likely does, make them stronger. Researchers have shown that pushing away thoughts and emotions actually intensifies them. Yup, it's a double whammy (especially if you take into account how emotions translate in our bodies, as shown above)
Suppressed emotions tend to become warped or twisted into other emotions such as blame, anger, or shame. And they end up resurfacing unexpectedly in the future.
Avoiding our emotions can also be (and in many cases is) a coping strategy we learned from our families, our society, and the culture we live in.
We are mistakenly taught and believe it's the 'right' thing to do.

As discussed in the previous articles, all emotions are sources of valuable information. Yet, We often consider some emotions, such as sadness, anger, shame, or jealousy, to be negative, so we suppress them.

Common signs that you are suppressing emotions as a coping strategy include:

• Distracting yourself as a way to keep yourself from reacting
• Avoiding talking about the situation because you don’t want to feel negative emotion or stir up a heated situation
• Avoiding places, people, or objects that remind you of the negative emotions you don’t want to feel
• Using substances (such as alcohol or other illicit drugs) to numb the pain or the emotion
• Overeating/comfort eating

Common Physiological symptoms that Are correlated to suppressing emotions include:

Consistently suppressing emotion can cause many physical symptoms because suppressed emotion puts stress on your body.

• High blood pressure 
• Diabetes,
• Illness due to lowered immunity
• Migraines
  
• Chronic Back, Knees, Neck, or Shoulder pain
  
• Digestive problems
  
• Sleep disorders
  
• And even heart disease. 

People who avoid or suppress emotions are more likely to experience high anxiety and depression in their lifetime.